Reflecting on old notebooks

a sense of pride

hope

and clarity

 

Remember the dark nights

they still continue

but without the substance

remember the addiction

 

---

Pour it out

split it up

straighten it out

take turns

So quick to indulge

we could feel it in our brains

before we even took it in

 

Anxious

We like the feeling

and know it well

 

Now theres a bit more time

in the world

when you work a bit faster

 

Pause

 

Remember to breathe

 

Take a moment before the

next one

 

next one..

next one..

next one..

wheres the next one?

 

I’ll get lost in those eyes

and this cocktail if I’m not careful

 

Painfully beautiful melodies

memories stain my fingertips

 

What have we become?

Are we really so bad?

….Aren’t we all pretty fucked up anyway?

 

When will I stop this nonsense.

 

---

Circa 2008