Easter Sunday | 2017

Spent the day continuing to aspire to be Idgie Threadgoode.

Photos of the city – Create to cure the depression.

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Reflections

Reflecting on old notebooks

a sense of pride

hope

and clarity

 

Remember the dark nights

they still continue

but without the substance

remember the addiction

 


Pour it out

split it up

straighten it out

take turns

So quick to indulge

we could feel it in our brains

before we even took it in

 

Anxious

We like the feeling

and know it well

 

Now theres a bit more time

in the world

when you work a bit faster

 

Pause

 

Remember to breathe

 

Take a moment before the

next one

 

next one..

next one..

next one..

wheres the next one?

 

I’ll get lost in those eyes

and this cocktail if I’m not careful

 

Painfully beautiful melodies

memories stain my fingertips

 

What have we become?

Are we really so bad?

….Aren’t we all pretty fucked up anyway?

 

When will I stop this nonsense.

 


Circa 2008

 

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Over Exposed

My heart feels over exposed

over sensitive to the elements

loved raw

and left without skin

 

like my teeth did the time

I used whitening strips

every night

for two weeks

and then accidentally

fell asleep with them in

 

the next day they were so sensitive

that even a breathe of air

was an uncomfortable

and painful sensation

 

you had me so convinced

that you were mine

that magic existed

and that everything had finally

fallen in line

 

Now I have to talk myself

out of bed every morning

talk myself

down the hall

and into the shower

talk myself through

the morning cigarette

and the coffee

 

talk myself through

the memories of you

when I smell you on my sheets

or find your hairs on my couch

and on my pillows

 

through the ride to work,

and through each sunset

because i’m afraid of night

now that

I have to talk myself to sleep

 

Don’t tell your lover that

you love them

if you don’t

someday it will lose all meaning

and how sad for love to hold no weight.

Hands

When I look at your hands

I grow weak, 

I can’t look directly 

at you at times

when we speak

or all of my strength 

becomes fleeting

 

–your eyes like a tide

pulled me in and kept me under–

 

You’re blinding like the sun

and that smile —

that smile could bring

the whole world to its knees 

stop it dead in its tracks

so distracted and humbled

it’d start spinning 

the opposite direction